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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895716">i don't wanna be just friends anymore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11'>GrayJedi11</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Board Games, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Gay Panic, I didnt mean for it to be angsty, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Panic Attacks, i mean that as in hugs, i think, kind of close to self harm, slight virgil angt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:41:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Virgil has a crush. So does Logan.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don't wanna be just friends anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It could’ve been </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could’ve gotten a crush on a different friend, some random kid in school, even the annoying kid that flirted with him sometimes. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he had to have gotten a crush on his </span>
  <em>
    <span>best friend.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Logan, who was sweet, and smart, who he’d known for years, and who would in all likelihood never like him more than platonically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, they’d been friends for three years. Who was going to suddenly fall in love with their friend like he did?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Emo music was blasting in his ears, he was desperately trying to drive out the warmth in his chest and his cheeks when he thought about Logan. Crushes were stupid. All of this was stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Self-Proclaimed Nerd:</b>
  <span> If you would like to, we haven’t seen each other outside of school in a while, would you like to come over to my house?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t going to help. No, his heart would beat fast, his cheeks would darken over small moments, he would get butterflies from Logan’s smiles, his laugh, the words meant just for Virgil. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But it was gonna happen, and he wanted it to.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>emo nightmare:</b>
  <span> sure</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil collected up his belongings, making sure he had bus money. He let his mother know where he was going on his way out, opening the door to the fresh spring air. The bus stop was a short walk away, and the ride itself was fairly short.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked on Logan’s door when he arrived, trying to squash down the almost constant anxiety he felt around his friend. God, this was annoying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan smiled when he opened the door, inviting his friend inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have any ideas for what we were gonna do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some games, and we could always watch a movie if you’d like. Otherwise, we could just talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re legally required to give me food first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t say that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I have some chips in the kitchen I’m never gonna eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil laughed, following him into the kitchen and debating all the ways he could confess his love without seeming like an idiot. He went through at least seven ideas before deciding none of them fit the bill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know that there’s bioluminescent bacteria in the ocean that can be seen by satellite?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you learn these things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mostly from Google if I get bored or I need cheering up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s… actually really cute.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Creepy ocean facts are comforting for you?” The two of them headed into Logan’s room, Virgil munching on his newly acquired chips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They help remind me that… I’m here, on Earth, and that here is actually a really interesting place to be. Especially if I get bored with the endless repetition of high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that makes sense. I personally prefer things that are like… the smaller picture, if that makes sense. Like, I get to be in my own little bubble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re quite different then, as I feel trapped in mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil wanted to take Logan’s hand, give it a comforting squeeze and share his sympathy. But no, friends didn’t do that. And friends are what they were. And were going to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan’s room was organized, fat books lined up on bookshelves, an outfit of clothes folded neatly on his dresser, many more drawers than seemed necessary for the average teenager, but then again, it was Logan. His bed was pre-made, pillows arranged perfectly atop his blankets, and a little unicorn plushie peeking out from under them. Virgil felt proud to be the one person Logan wasn’t ashamed of having his plushie out with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trivial Pursuit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan won every time, but it was still fun to play. And hey, Virgil learned things while doing it, as well as Logan getting excited about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil sat cross-legged on the floor while Logan set it up. They began, Virgil doing a little better in the Entertainment questions while Logan dominated him in mostly every other category. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Name the athlete who won four gold medals in the 1936 Berlin Olympic Games.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- how am I supposed to know that?!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you shouldn’t have gone towards History.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try something new, and it fails every time. Roll.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan did so, moving his piece to a Science &amp; Nature square. Virgil pulled a card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a gila monster?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s…” Logan seemingly wracked his brain for the answer, tapping his finger on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, was he beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way his brow furrowed, his concentration, he probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> what the answer was and was taking longer to make Virgil feel better. Honestly, he didn’t care if it meant he got to see Logan sitting there. He got to call Logan his </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and even if he’d rather be… more than that, it was amazing enough. It was insane. Logan was… so perfect, and Virgil, out of all people, got to be this close to him. Close enough that he wasn’t ashamed of his stuffed animals. Close enough so that he would talk about things that make him feel better, calm him down. Close enough so that… Virgil could see just how beautiful he really was.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That you thi-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I’m stupid, it’s a li-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan looked taken aback. He let the hand he’d just raised fall back down. Virgil’s heart was beating out of his chest, both from the anxiety and the tenderness of Logan’s gaze, now that he’d had at least a few seconds to process what had just been said to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was rare that Logan sounded like this. His voice was tentative, soft, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Maybe scared of what Virgil meant, of what he didn’t mean. Maybe scared that he was going to break Virgil’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Virgil swore his cheeks were red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… I- I love you. More… more than platonically.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He forced the words out, pushing past the voice screaming in his head to </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut up, say you meant it platonically.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Logan was silent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His blush had grown, and his mouth was open, seemingly intending to say something. But… no words came out. He just… stared at Virgil, eyes wide and </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> scared, no signs of whether it was ‘he’s revolted that I would think that of him’ or ‘holy shit he likes me too?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t deserve it-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t breathing anymore, that was for sure. Logan had begun clutching his arm with one hand, nails curling around and into the skin. He pushed himself away, accidentally kicking some cards, flinching when he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Virgil- Virgil, what is this-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His breathing started up again, panicked and frantic. He clutched at his sides, tapping his foot and dragging nails across skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil had initiated a panic attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lo- you’re having a panic attack- no, it’s okay. Remember your facts? Bioluminescent bacteria? Gila monsters? Lobsters that keep growing until they die?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan nodded, looking down. “Whales tend to have small throats so they feed often on krill and other small ocean creatures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And… starfish have eyes on the end of their arms. The largest type of crab is the Japanese Spider crab, which can be up to 13 feet across. The anglerfish can stretch its stomach and jaw to consume much larger prey than it otherwise could and… I love you too. That is a fact as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan was still shaking slightly, but looked up at Virgil. He extended his hand for Virgil to take, letting it fall limp in the warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s… no one’s fault but my own. I don’t know if I deserve your romantic love. I’m not… every time I’ve been infatuated with someone, they turn out to be annoyed by me, or they actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, so… I never expected something like this. And I reacted poorly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame them. They’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong for disliking you one bit. You’re perfect. You’re smart, and pretty, and caring, and level headed, and you deserve all forms of love. And a lot of it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan half-laughed, moving around the Trivial Pursuit board closer to Virgil. He let Virgil hold him close, the fear of vulnerability ebbing away as the warmth took over. He clutched onto Virgil’s hoodie, its familiar scent filling his nostrils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could I get my-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan crawled out of his grip for a moment, retrieving his plushie from under the blanket. He clutched it close to his body, returning to Virgil. He was once again encased in his warmth, but now… content. And calmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. It… means a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always, Logan.”</span>
</p>
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